看了那些Google大神Jeff Dean的傳說后,我跪了!
原文鏈接：https://www.zhihu.com/question/22081653/answer/20593104
Jeff Dean：（也稱Jeffrey Adgate Dean）是一名美國計算機(jī)科學(xué)家和軟件工程師，出生于1968年，畢業(yè)于華盛頓大學(xué)，主要作品有《MapReduce》等。主要成就：
MapReduce?一個大規(guī)模數(shù)據(jù)處理系統(tǒng)
BigTable 一個結(jié)構(gòu)化數(shù)據(jù)的分布式存儲系統(tǒng)
Spanner 一個全球性的數(shù)據(jù)庫系統(tǒng)
參與谷歌的網(wǎng)絡(luò)爬蟲、索引、查詢系統(tǒng)、AdSense、谷歌翻譯的設(shè)計與實現(xiàn)。
2009年當(dāng)選美國工程院院士
TensorFlow 人工智能學(xué)習(xí)系統(tǒng) 項目負(fù)責(zé)人
Jeffrey Dean，簡單來說，這貨是Google牛逼的源泉之一。因為此人實在太牛了，于是出現(xiàn)了關(guān)于他有多牛的幾個笑話，直接笑翻，和大家共享下。
1.?During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the ?implications if P=NP were true. ?He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before ?the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s ?public certificate and?wrote the private key on the whiteboard.
? ?當(dāng)他被Google面試時，Jeff Dean被問及如果P=NP意味著什么。他說，“P=0 或者 N=1”。然后，在所有的面試官還沒笑完之前，Jeff瞄了一眼Google的公共證書然后在白板上寫上了對應(yīng)的私鑰。
2. Compilers don’t warn Jeff Dean. ? Jeff Dean warns compilers.
? ?編譯器從來不給Jeff編譯警告，而是Jeff警告編譯器
3. The rate at which Jeff Dean produces code jumped by a factor of 40 ?in late 2000 when he upgraded his keyboard to USB 2.0.
? ?在2000年后段，Jeff碼代碼的速度突然激增了40倍，原因是他把自己的鍵盤升級到了USB 2.0
4. Jeff Dean builds his code before committing it, but only to check for compiler and linker bugs.
? ?Jeff還是會在提交代碼前把它們編譯一遍，不過這么做的目的只是為了檢查下編譯器和鏈接器有沒有bug
5. All pointers point to Jeff Dean.
? ?所有指針都是指向Jeff的
6. gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite.
? ?gcc的-O4優(yōu)化選項是將你的代碼郵件給Jeff重寫一下
7. The speed of light in a vacuum used to be about 35 mph. Then Jeff Dean spent a weekend optimizing physics.
? ?光在真空中的速度曾近是35英里每小時，后來Jeff花了一個周末對物理學(xué)進(jìn)行了小小的優(yōu)化
8. Jeff Dean was born on December 31, 1969 at 11:48 PM. It took him twelve minutes to implement his first time counter.
? ?Jeff出生于1969年12月31日的下午11點48分，然后他花了整整12分鐘的時間實現(xiàn)了他的第一個計時器。（背景：計算機(jī)中的計時器數(shù)值通常被設(shè)計為從1970年1月1日0點0分0秒到當(dāng)前為止的秒數(shù)）
9. When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic.
? ?當(dāng)Jeff向以太網(wǎng)發(fā)送一個數(shù)據(jù)包時從來不會有沖突，原因是本來要和它有沖突的包都默默撤回了緩沖區(qū)
10. Unsatisfied with constant time, Jeff Dean created the world's first O(1/n)algorithm.
? ?Jeff對常量的時間復(fù)雜度并不滿足，于是他創(chuàng)造了世界上第一個O(1/n)的算法。（即隨著問題規(guī)模的增大，其解決問題所花的時間會越短）
11. Jeff Dean was forced to invent asynchronous APIs one day when he optimized a function so that it returned before it was invoked.
? ?Jeff曾被迫發(fā)明了異步API，原因是經(jīng)他優(yōu)化后的某個函數(shù)會在調(diào)用開始前返回
12. When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation.
? ?當(dāng)Jeff寫軟件時，他是直接碼機(jī)器碼的。寫源代碼只是為了作為文檔使用。
13. Jeff Dean wrote an O(n^2) algorithm once. It was for the Traveling Salesman Problem.
? ?Jeff曾無奈寫過一次O(n^2)的算法，其解決的問題是旅行商問題。（該問題是NPC的，即計算機(jī)中最復(fù)雜最難解決的一類問題，許多人相信這些問題是沒有多項式時間復(fù)雜度的解的）
14. Jeff Dean can beat you at connect four. In three moves.
? ?Jeff在四子連珠的游戲中能贏你，在三步內(nèi)
15. When your code has undefined behavior, you get a seg fault and corrupted data. When Jeff Dean's code has undefined behavior, a unicorn rides in on a rainbow and gives everybody free ice cream.
? ?當(dāng)你的代碼有不確定行為時，你通常得到一個段錯誤或者不正確的數(shù)據(jù)。當(dāng)Jeff的代碼有不確定行為時，孫悟空會駕著七彩云朵給每個人發(fā)免費的長壽仙桃
16. When Jeff Dean fires up the profiler, loops unroll themselves in fear.
? ?當(dāng)Jeff觸發(fā)程序的程序性能采樣時，循環(huán)會因害怕而自動展開。
17. Jeff Dean is still waiting for mathematicians to discover the joke he hid in the digits of PI.
? ?Jeff依然孤獨地等待著數(shù)學(xué)家們解開他在PI的數(shù)字中隱藏的笑話
18. Jeff Dean's keyboard has two keys: 1 and 0.
? ?Jeff的鍵盤多達(dá)兩個鍵：1和0
19. When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep.
? ?當(dāng)Jeff失眠時，他Mapreduce羊群。（Mapreduce是Jeff的作品之一，這個分布式處理的框架算法是Google立足的根本之一）
20. When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head.
? ?當(dāng)Jeff聽MP3時，他查看其中的二進(jìn)制內(nèi)容然后在他腦子里進(jìn)行音頻解碼。
21. When Graham Bell invented the telephone, he saw a missed call from Jeff Dean.
? ?當(dāng)貝爺在沙漠中逮到一個手機(jī)時，他發(fā)現(xiàn)手機(jī)里有個Jeff的未接來電。
? ?當(dāng)貝爾發(fā)明電話后，他發(fā)現(xiàn)電話里有個Jeff的未接來電。
22. Jeff Dean's watch displays seconds since January 1st, 1970. He is never late.
? ?Jeff的手表顯示的數(shù)字是自1970年1月1日0點0分0秒以來的秒數(shù)，他因此從來不遲到。
23. Jeff starts his programming sessions with 'cat > /dev/mem'.
? ?Jeff在開始編程之前，會做'cat > /dev/mem'。（即把輸入的內(nèi)容直接導(dǎo)到內(nèi)存中）
24. One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris.
? ?有一次Jeff出門時錯將草圖畫板當(dāng)筆記本拿了。結(jié)果在他回家取筆記本的路上，他對畫板進(jìn)行了重編程以在其上玩俄羅斯方塊
25. Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled.
? ?在2002年，Google搜索曾掛了幾個小時，于是Jeff站出來手動處理用戶的查詢請求。搜索準(zhǔn)確度翻了番
26. The x86-64 spec includes several undocumented instructions marked 'private use'. They are actually for Jeff Dean's use.
? ?x86-64指令集中有一些沒有被記入到文檔的‘私用’指令。事實上，他們是給Jeff用的
27.mantri@mantri-laptop~$ ?rm -r /
? ?rm: cannot remove root directory ‘/’mantri@mantri-laptop~$ su - jeffdean -c "rm -r /"
? ?I am extremely sorry. Removing root directory..
不解釋
28. Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer.
? ?有次Jeff移位移得太恨了，結(jié)果那一位跑到另一臺計算機(jī)上去了
29. Jeff Dean has gone to /dev/null and come back.
? ?Jeff從/dev/null那涅槃了。（龐統(tǒng)啊~）
? ?Jeff又從/dev/null那涅槃了。（擦！）
30. Jeff Dean sorts his phone contacts by their vcard's md5 checksums.
? ?Jeff通訊錄的排序規(guī)則是按照聯(lián)系人的md5值
31. Jeff Dean doesn't kill processes, he slays them.
? ?Jeff他不殺進(jìn)程，他肢解虐殺它們
32. The needle in haystack found Jeff Dean
? ?海底的針會自己找上Jeff
33. All of the Google App Engine is actually hosted from Jeff Dean's Nexus S
? ?Google App Engine的服務(wù)器實際上是Jeff的Nexus S
34. Jeff Deans’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Jeff Dean.
? ?Jeff的鍵盤壓根就沒有Ctrl(控制)鍵，因為沒有什么東西能控制Jeff
35. You name three pointers, Einstein, Euler, and Turing, when you de-reference them, all you get is Jeff Dean.
? ?如果你命名三個指針分別為愛因斯坦、歐拉和圖靈，當(dāng)你查看它們的指向時，你看到的都會是Jeff
有道無術(shù)，術(shù)可成；有術(shù)無道，止于術(shù)
歡迎大家關(guān)注Java之道公眾號
好文章，我在看??